Waiting….

I know it’s painful waiting around,                      Waiting for your phone to ring like it used to,
Waiting for my optimistic approach to life (which rarely surfaces)
Waiting for the texts, the depth, my presence and my love.

I wish I had control over my fate,
Over where I am and what I do.
14 hours a day, 70 hours a week, most public holidays and even my weekends have ceased to belong to me.
I wish I had more time to give!
I wish “almost” everyone would not pullout because of this…

I hate to have to conform to society by doing “this”.
I hate the amount of risk, pressure and dissatisfaction derived from “this”.
I’m fine regardless, it’s my choice.

So… Just In case you forgot, or do not realise;
****I’m in pain too, because I’m not around.

COCO’s

What we have, it’s absolutely beautiful. One of the most amazing things I’ve had with anyone all my life.
If for any reason this comes to an end, I’d never get myself to hate you as you made me a very happy girl for a very long time. I love you.

Funny how it has always been really hard for me to get that out. I couldn’t even type it correctly just now; shaky fingers. You know how I am with love and all that mushy stuff. Ughhh.

I’m all sorts of complicated and you’re all sorts of understanding.
You have a beautiful heart and you’re a good man. No, you’re a great man. You deserve every good thing you have and I’m proud of you my love. So very proud.

You push me to be better. You scold me when I’m wrong. You’re so blunt it’s annoying, but maybe that’s what I get for being too stubborn for my own good.
I remember you told me my first write up was shit. Lol… I deleted it. I hate you.

I love our little fights about everything. I love that even while we argue about serious stuff, we find a way to laugh about something someone said. I love how you never let me get away with my mago mago; you know me a little too well.

I forgive you for sleeping off on me a million and one times. I forgive you for every other thing you’ve done to piss me off that I can’t remember right now. And I forgive you for the next ten million times you’d do the same thing.

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for being there for me. I love you, again.

“I should write about you” he said.

…Well, she beat me to it”

Birthmark

It always ends ;

Movies, albums, relationships …love!

Sometimes I’m sad when our play comes to an end
Sometimes I’m glad we’re over

Sometimes I miss the scenes
Sometimes I long for them

But then when you’re with someone;
And on amazing days you wish there’s a 25th hour
On sad days
The pain of a month hurts in a day

The kinda feeling that makes a player think about his lady while he locks lips with another

The kinda love that grants faith to an unbeliever!

You’re my birthmark baby! I love you!

All would come with time

First and foremost, this is being documented just so I can share.
It is extremely important for YOU to know that bad times shall come, and so would good times.

I’m still in the mix of things, but I’m in a better place now; psychologically, that is.
I honestly do not know where this ride called life is headed.
I mean, my ship used to run on gas, but all that keeps it going now is coal.

Farming encroached a long time ago, but I am glad the prosperous days are reemerging; in my head, that is!
You have the right to give up, but I’m saying: hang on a while longer, it would not hurt (that much).
I have been there, I’m still there. 🙂

I have come to realise that the good days shall come again,
The rainbow shall bloom,
Peaches and cream would be the order of the day, everyday.

I definitely would cherish the good times when they resurface.
I am sure I would because I have had a taste of the bad.

The Death of Butterflies

No chance of running after my shadow. No opportunity to see if I can reach it. The “greatness” in me is dying. I’m conscious, but I feel it all diminishing. All that once mattered does not anymore.

This is not one of those happy write-ups, no, this is a sad one. Nowadays, before I go to bed, you cease to cross my mind. Even when I dream, you’re absent. The thought of our union once beamed with light, with colours as vast as the rainbow’s.

Some people forgive, some others do not. I think I forgave too much. To be sincere, that was not the problem. The problem is: I literally broke my leg for you and you didn’t notice. Wait. That still was not a problem. YOU saw me in clutches, and stumped on my broken femur. That was the problem.

You took me for granted one too many times. Thus, inflicting me with the virus called “hate”. There exists no remedy to this ailment, trust me, I have searched for it in my soul.

People say life continues for the living; what about the dead? Should we vanquish them from our minds or memories? I cherish you still, and I think it is just because of the fact that something is dead, doesn’t mean it never existed! I will never lose sleep over you, but you may have some of my attention when I am awake.

To YOU ************** *****

My Mind, Our Minds?

 

My mind,

While driving home, my mind brought my attention to something;

As silly as it seems, I’d share it on here.

I imagined having sex with my birthday mate on my birthday, Birthday sex!

I couldn’t help but think that my ‘mind’ – not me, was loosing it.

MY greatest asset, bestowed upon me from birth!

My blessing, my curse!

 

Your – our super machine,

Meant for us all,

With no glitches, at it’s purest.

Prone to corruption, hatred and loneliness at its weakest.

Different forms of virus limits it.

Yet these are mere roadblocks compared to PAIN,

Pain drowns the mind with fire.

Removes the colour, makes it black/white,

Renders it obsolete.

 

For a second, I would like you to imagine how:

-The mind of an artiste deliberates,

-The mind of a footballer calculates,

-The mind of a writer ponders,

Scratch all of these; just imagine being in the mind of a suicide bomber!

How shallow yet destructive it is

Ready to leave the earth, and take other people along. Meaningless!

 

The mind, our minds,

So boundless, yet so shallow.

Sometimes we get lost in it, other times; we cannot get enough.

Our weapon, with boundless and limitless capabilities.

Its possession is ours, and ours alone.

We can never literally share our minds,

We can only tell people about it.

 

 

 

 

 

Old Honey ‘still” is edible

          I stroked my neck from side to side, glancing at her, she hadn’t aged much since we last saw  ” when I was her man” her cheeks had become a bit fatter, they made her cuter. She still had those dimples, the ones I fell in love with. Black beauty who I once rode.  I have not had the chance to look at her behind,  her blouse is getting in the way. I’m sure it’s nothing less than the monument it once was.  My imagination paints it ” grander”
          She accused me ferociously!  reminding me of how far apart we have grown “when last did you check on me”. I was guilty as charged.  I mumbled ill composed utterances … ” sighed” then said I’m sorry. fell in a trance and remembered ” when she was my lady
          I woke up, It was time to leave.  Her facial expression brightened, the cute smile I was accustomed to emerged, “her heart forgave me“. We shared an awkward hand shake, and then instinctively we hugged. I realized that the sparkle that once was still is.
BUT,********* can you compare a sparkle to a bang*******?… guess no one would ever KNOW

Because I Hurt You

You cried for days, was sad for weeks, you resent me and I know why! “I am sorry” does not cover for the events that transpired, but you have to listen to my side of the tale. I have got a lot to say to you. I know I should have just left silently, sorry I had to drop a grenade on my way through the door. When would you pick my call or return my texts?

I CANNOT CONSCIOUSLY HURT ANYONE I CARE SO DEEPLY ABOUT, have this statement at the back of your mind when you read this.

I am here sad as Fuck, I cannot take it all back…wish I could. In conclusion babe; you can hate me, you can resent me but you CANNOT ******* ***** **! The only reason I wrote this,is because; it would be a crime not to apologise! I am sorry!

***The asterisks texts cannot be disclosed ***

Selfish Humans

You believe you’re the only one hurting?
You believe that the person that is there for you is not worse off?
You believe that his problems are not of greater magnitudes compared to yours?

!Think!
Have you ever inquired:
Not just asking “are you fine”
But are you sure you are fine?

!Fact!
I’m certain you have never done that!
He is there for you every week
Helping you stand when depleted and weak
With no “ulterior” motives,
seeks to see you smile
Would go as far as a mile

!But!
He is alone with his plight
With everything tucked out of sight
Struggling, waging war in isolation
Taking on the impossible all alone

!Selfish!
The ironic thing therefore is,
Would you join in the fight against his battalion?
Even when demolition is inevitable?
Would you go down with a brethren?
Or run along and find someone else to replace your fallen soldier?

And start the whole cycle!?
By finding a “feline” ( :> )
“Mans best friend”
That you only feed with flesh-less bones.
And still it answers to every whisper of its name!

***Be a friend today. Enough said***